There are certainly healthy and unhealthy ways to date someone. Whether you’re married or dating, going out on dates is crucial and can boost your relationship to deeper levels of intimacy. My momma has told me that since I was young and now there’s even evidence for it.
Timmy read a business book about two years ago about all the top CEO’s and business leaders who are not divorced. In a study conducted, they found that each successful business leader had uninterrupted time set aside each week with their spouse. While we were dating senior year of college we decided to try it out and started meeting once a week (Friday mornings at 6:45AM). Now, we both wake up even earlier and hit up different coffee shops each week to spend 45 minutes together before work. We prioritize it and have made it a constant in our marriage. It’s hard but worth it.
Here’s a few reasons why going out the same day, same time, every week is helpful to boost your “dating” relationship:
1. Consistency: Despite how busy or chill your week is, you always know that you’ll get some quality, uninterrupted time together once a week. Sometimes there are weeks that are crazy: every minute there is another thing to be done, every day there is a new crisis to deal with. Sometimes there are lovely weeks that we wish would never end. Regardless of how the week goes, the once a week date remains constant. This could be the only consistent thing in the month, and that’s important.
2. Pleasure: We all need something to look forward to. Every Thursday night I go to bed looking forward to the next morning. It’s the only time that Timmy and I don’t have trouble waking up early because we get to spend time together and debrief our last day of work.. Sometimes the repetitiveness of life causes us to lose track of time: A month goes by before we realize that we didn’t go on a single date. Hanging out once a week ensures that special time together. We love spur of the moment dates and night dates, but these built-in dates are no less important or beneficial to us.
3. Growth: Going out the same time, once a week helps a relationship grow. It allows a casual time together talking about whatever comes to mind without the pressures of a date. Without uninterrupted time and sitting down to talk, a relationship cannot grow to it’s full potential. Communication is vital, and the avenue in which we communicate can contribute to more and less healthy relationships. Talking while distracted can only get us so far, so these weekly dates really help Timmy and I communicate in a positive way.
Simple and Healthy
We all want to grow and be healthy in our relationships. The stress of a strained relationship causes distraction throughout the day and can lead to an unhappy and unhealthy lifestyle. I’m not saying that dating once a week at the same time will cure a relationship, or create some sort of magical perfection. This is just a simple way that my husband and I found helps us stay focused on the same goal, and it gives us a boost to strengthen our relationship (when we were dating and now that we’re married). I realize that once we have kids this will become more and more challenging, but it is something that we are dedicated to. If you want to hear a different perspective, here’s an article by a mother who dates once a week.
It’s a simple and healthy habit, but not the end-all-be-all. My suggestion is that you might as well try it and see how it works.