Home life has changed with Millennials. Efficiency comes before propriety. I have noticed most Millennials would rather go out than have people come over. Marriage is viewed, as “mature,” “boring,” and even “weird.” They often wonder why you would tie yourself to one person for the rest of your life. Several of our friends have said that they aren’t mature enough to marry. They would never want to be in our shoes. It seems an odd to Timmy and I. Being married has been a blast. We don’t feel like we’re holding each other back: we’re trying to propel each other forward, to be the best we can be.
No one can deny that things are changing in America. Marriage isn’t treated as sacred. Sex is blasted everywhere. Modesty is virtually nonexistent. We are growing up in this age. Millennials: my generation has never known anything different. The way we view marriage is directly influenced by our culture, and our culture doesn’t seem to think too highly of it. This age is all about equality and tolerance. Both are good things, but all good things can be used in the wrong way.
Equality: Changing the Home
A while ago my grandma asked me if Timmy liked to cook. I answered that he’s an excellent cook, and he cooks once in a while for me to give me a break. Although I make most the meals, he always does the dishes. Grandma laughed and said, “Pop has never cooked or helped with the dishes. That’s just how it is in my generation.” I can’t imagine Timmy not helping. Our culture has shaped the way we work: it’s no longer degrading for the men to help in the kitchen. It’s no longer solely a woman’s job to cook and clean. This is good, but here’s the catch:
Our culture has slowly and subtly made equality to mean “better than.” A lot of things I’ve heard has come across as, “I’m equal to you, so I get the better half.” This gets in the way when dealing with marriage. Marriage is a selfless act: a merging of each other. The new view of equality makes marriage difficult because it propels self to get in the way of selflessness.
The problem comes when the “equality” causes a rift between a couple. For example, with equality growing, shared bank accounts are becoming more and more rare. People want to keep “their” money separate so that they have a plan if their relationship doesn’t work out. If Millennials live with separate bank accounts, career minded over family minded, and split everything evenly, their thinking just isn’t marriage minded.
Tolerance: Changing Marriage Numbers
Millennials tend to think in very tolerant terms. Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, Homosexual marriages are accepted, and living together before marriage is encouraged rather than frowned upon. All this has changed dramatically over our lifetimes. We have been bombarded with the media accusing people who believe differently of being intolerant, unkind, and judgmental.
With the number of people living together rising, the need for marriage has gone down. To have a child out of wedlock is not uncommon and doesn’t call for the need to marry. To live in the same room with someone else gives Millennials the privileges of marriage without the commitment. That’s exactly what we want, Right? Feeling good without being locked into a situation long term… Just in case.
Millennials fight against conformity. We don’t want to be like everyone else, we want to be unique. We want to love freely and live feel good, fun lives. This creates a culture of people who don’t believe marriage is important. Marriage is a good chance to take pictures and have all your friends together to party. But nothing changes after marriage for many Millennials. They lived together before-hand. They live together after.
The only difference is tax returns.
How Can This Change?
We have to start teaching selflessness and the importance of serving others. We’re surrounded by a world of people who only care about their next paycheck, party, hobby, or vacation. We need to begin creating a culture the cares about people. Marriage needs to be talked about differently by people who are married and treated differently by people who aren’t. It should return to it’s original, sacred form and shouldn’t be treated lightly.
Marriage is so sweet and good: two lives intertwined together through the good and the bad. Marriage is in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. It isn’t shallow and it isn’t always easy, but it’s good. The beauty of it is being forgotten, ignored, and altered into something it wasn’t designed for. Not only Millennials, but everyone should recognize the importance of marriage.
‘Til death do us part.